Sermon .10th November 2013 Remembrance Sunday

Today, one of our Lay Readers, Trevor Tayleur, continues our study of Paul's letter to Ephesus. The reading is from Ephesians 5:21 - 6:9.

Submit!

A man went on an assertiveness training course. When asked why he was attending, he answered, “My wife told me to.”

The passage from Ephesians we’re looking at today may sound a bit familiar. If so, the reason may be that it’s only just over a year ago that Cameron spoke to us about a similar passage in 1 Peter. But today it’s my turn to deal with a passage in which Paul seems to express some rather controversial views.

Ephesians 5 verse 23 reads as follows, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.”

To be fair to Paul, Biblical scholars and theologians debate the meaning of “headship”. Some scholars think it means having authority or leadership, and that is a view that is quite widely held, particularly in evangelical circles, although that’s not a view that goes down well today. Other scholars believe that headship has little to do with authority or leadership. They argue that “Head” was rarely used to mean authority in the Ancient Greek.  Paul was using head and body as a metaphor of unity.  In particular he was using it to highlight the unity that exists between Jesus Christ and the Church. 

I do not intend today to resolve the debate, but however you interpret headship, nothing that Paul wrote can be used to justify male domination. The passage we’ve read has been used in the past to justify abuse of women by men, and the latter part of the passage has been used to justify slavery.  Paul was certainly doing nothing of the kind.

It’s shocking to know that at any given time one in nine women are experiencing domestic violence. This means that most, if not all, of us know couples where domestic abuse is occurring. It may occur in families which attend this church. Nothing that Paul wrote can justify such behaviour.

A point that Cameron made when looking at the passage in 1 Peter is that you need to remember the context. Back in the first century women were very much second class citizens. Cameron quoted Aristotle who wrote that women were a “secondary form of human being”. A man, either their father or husband, had complete power over them.

Also back in the first century slavery was a fact of everyday life, something that everyone took for granted. People couldn’t imagine a world without it, in the same way we can’t imagine a world which doesn’t have employer-employee relationships. So what Paul was saying was completely counter-cultural. In a society in which women were downtrodden and often treated like chattels, to say, as Paul did, that “husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies” was completely radical. Imagine saying those words in a Taleban controlled part of Afghanistan; they would certainly provoke a reaction. Likewise suggesting that masters should treat their slaves well was also a radical idea. God judges everyone by the same standard; slave masters had to remember that they too had a master, Jesus, to whom they were accountable.

This morning’s passage starts, ^“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” The basic premise is that husbands and wives should submit to each other. Although there is a new heading in our Bibles, “Wives and Husbands”, Paul wasn’t starting a new subject when he got to marriage. He’s continuing from where he left off in verse 20. Last week Cameron explained that Paul was setting out the general overriding principle by which Christians are to live, namely “God’s self-giving, self-sacrificing love; not some second-rate imitation of it”. And today’s passage then sets out how we are to live out that calling in the context of marriage, parent-child and master-slave relationships. So when Paul gets to marriage, he is describing a husband-wife relationship which exhibits God’s self-giving, self-sacrificing love.

Paul’s basic premise is that both husband and wife are committed to live out God’s calling. In some way the husband is the head of the wife, whatever that might mean. So what does this headship look like? Over the years I’ve heard various views expressed, for example that husbands and wives should try to come to agreement about everything, but if they can’t the husband has the casting vote; headship is some form of tie-breaker. But Paul doesn’t say what it means. The Bible doesn’t spell out the details. The Bible is a book written to guide people across the centuries living in vastly different circumstances, and it doesn’t give a detailed guide to spouses as to how they should reach their decisions and so on, but what it does say is this: it sets out the basic principle that each should seek to serve the other. Accordingly, each spouse should be saying to the other, “What you need is more important than what I need; I’m willing to sacrifice everything for you.”

Paul doesn’t lay down the law. He sets out the principle of putting each other first, but he leaves it to the couple to work out for themselves what it means. But one thing you can be sure of is that if you have a man who lays down the law to his wife and says, “This is how we are going to do things,” then you have a man who has completely missed Paul’s point and whose male ego has not been reshaped by God’s self-giving, self-sacrificing love. The premise of Paul’s model is that you have two people committed to serving the other.

So we have Paul’s model for marriage, but why do people get married? What is the purpose of marriage? Now in many ancient cultures marriage was a business transaction. People didn’t get married for love or emotional fulfilment, but to secure their family’s position in society. In some parts of the world that is still the case. People marry to promote their family’s status. In the western world, it’s very different. You marry for love. You marry for your own individual fulfilment. You marry someone who will make you feel good about yourself, someone who will give you emotional fulfilment. But the Bible says this is wrong.

In verse 32 Paul compares marriage to the relationship that God Himself has with us, his people. Marriage is intended as a Gospel re-enactment, a model of what a lasting relationship with Christ should look like.

When we confess our sins, Jesus forgives us, but that’s not all; he doesn’t just simply forgive us. If you love someone and they harm themselves by making bad choices, you don’t simply shrug your shoulders and pass by. No, you stick with them and try to help them. Part of being a Christian is becoming more like Christ. In effect Jesus says to us, “I know what you can be, and through my sacrifice I’m going to get you there.” Jesus is driving us to change, to become more and more like him. And in marriage we encourage each other to change and to become everything we are supposed to be. Marriage is a model for what God wants to do for each of us.

Marriage isn’t the only relationship that Paul writes about in this passage. He also writes about masters and slaves. As thankfully slavery in Britain was abolished in the 1800s, does what Paul say have any relevance today? I’ve already said that nothing that Paul wrote in any way excuses slavery; indeed his instructions to slave masters and his declaration that all are equal before God carried the seeds of destruction for slavery. But bearing in mind that the relationship between employer and employee is not nearly as unequal as that between master and slave, what Paul says is still relevant today. There are two points that Paul makes that apply to those of us who are employees:

(i)      That all work is a divine calling, and

(ii)     It requires all our heart.

If you went to a book shop and saw a book called something like “Called to Serve the Lord”, what would you think it was about? Probably about someone who went into full time ministry, either at home or as a mission partner overseas. But actually we have all been called to serve the Lord.

How do we get fed? How do our children get educated? Who keeps our streets clean? Who protects us from the threat of terrorist attacks? Today we remember those who gave their lives in war so that we might live in freedom. They too were called to serve the Lord. Who looks after us when we need medical care? We pray regularly, “Give us today our daily bread.” The supply chain that answers this prayer is massive – from farmer to the supermarket checkout. What would happen if we didn’t have refuse collectors? Our city would drown in garbage, and serious diseases would be rife. What would public toilets be like if no one cleaned them?

Our whole way of life depends on people whose work is often regarded as menial. But it’s God’s work. God upholds us through other people’s work.

And secondly, do your work wholeheartedly. Paul writes in Chapter 6 verse 5, “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.”

We may have an earthly boss, but they’re not the important one. Look behind your earthly boss and see the real one, your heavenly boss. All work is God’s work and the real boss is the one behind your earthly boss. If you look to him, you will work wholeheartedly, even if your earthly boss doesn’t deserve it.

But Paul also emphasises that the relationship isn’t just one way; masters have their responsibilities too. In today’s economic climate, some bosses take advantage of their employees. “You’re lucky to have a job,” they say. “So don’t complain if I pile loads of extra work on you for less pay. If you don’t like it, you can leave. There are plenty of people out there who would be happy to take your place.”

Employers should treat their workers with the same spirit of commitment that God asks of their workers. Taking huge bonuses while using the harsh economic climate to take advantage of workers is not acceptable. Bosses need to remember that they are employees of their Master in heaven - and He judges without regard to wealth or position.

Now of course in this time of austerity it is often very difficult to get a job. So it is important to remember that our status doesn’t depend on whether or not we have a job. We are all equal before God.

And now on to family. Again, contrary to the culture of the day, Paul makes it clear that both parents and children have reciprocal responsibilities.  And I’m going to concentrate now on the parents’ responsibilities.

In ancient times children were property. The culture of the day said to the father, “Be boss; take control; show your children you are in charge.”

In contrast the first thing that Paul says in verse 4 is, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children.” Paul is ruling out excessively severe discipline, over-discipline. But he continues, “[I]nstead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” He is also ruling out under-discipline. If you under-discipline and are too indulgent, that’s also going to create an angry child. Because when that child with a sense of entitlement goes out into the world, they will find that it isn’t as compliant to their wishes as you were. Over-discipline and under-discipline: opposite but equal dangers.

Paul, then, gives a lot of guidance to husbands and wives, parents and children and, in modern terms, employers and employees. The purpose of the guidance is to explain what it means to live out God’s self-giving, self-sacrificing love in these vital relationships. In a culture where women, children and slaves were oppressed, Paul’s view that they had rights was very radical, as well as his view that husbands, parents and masters owed them duties. At the heart of Paul’s teaching is service, serving each other and serving God. Our role model is Jesus. Some of what Paul says may sound a bit old fashioned and out of date. But have we in 21^st Century Britain got it right? When we look at the number of fractured relationships, broken homes and income inequality, can we be so sure that we’ve got it right and Paul has got it wrong? Let’s be willing to follow the example of Christ who loved the church and gave his life for it.

Let’s pray.

Father, in our relationships may we seek to live out your self-giving, self-sacrificing love. Help us to serve you and each other. In Jesus’ name.

Amen.

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[i] 10 November 2013